It is as big as it can get. Mike-‘ The Faadu Drummer’- Portnoy has left Dream Theater. A Band he nurtured fro more than two decades. I don’t know what got in to his skin that he took such a decision. Maybe he got too tired of John Petrucci’s 10 minute solos or maybe he was fed-up of anticipating John Myung to speak something about himself once in twenty years (John Myung rather lets his Bass speak for himself). So i got this opportunity to set up an imaginary interview with the Legend Himself.
(This is an imaginary Interview created by My Cerebrum or whatever. If you are Mike Portnoy and want to sue me for this.. please call me..I am a Big Fan of yours) 😛
Me : So how does it feel at last to not be a part of DT?
MP (Mike Portnoy) : Atlast, I am FREE…I couldn’t stand those guys anymore.
Me: Can you Elaborate on those Guys more?
MP : Constant bragging of John about how great he is, No Bragging at all by the other John (Myung), Solos by John (Petrucci again) followed by 10 minute more solos by Jordan..
Me : But you too had your own share of limelight with all the Drum Solos too..Infact i have never seen you play a 4/4 time signature in almost 10 years.
MP : That is what i will practice now, My hands do not co-ordinate with my feet anymore when i try to Play a 4/4 beat. It automatically plays a 21/62
Me: Does that Time signature really exist?
MP : yes, I always warm up with that time signature. (Shows off more skills after saying this)
Me : So what are your Future plans? Will you go solo or plans for any new band?
MP : I will be auditioning for Justin Bieber and Lady gaga.
Me : you are kidding right?
MP : No, Im a big fan of theirs, That was one of the reasons i left DT.
Me : So DT does not like Justin Bieber?
MP : No, They like backstreet Boys more.. I had a Fight too with John on this.
Me : John Myung?
MP : No, That guy has not spoken in the last 10 years. I meant Petrucci.
Me : So while jamming, how do you interact with Myung? You being a Drummer must have a string bond with the bassist.
MP: yeah, when we disagree on something, he throws his bass on my drums to indicate that i am playing rubbish.
Me: And what do you throw at him?
MP: I sing Justin Bieber out loud.
MP: Then, John petrucci throws his guitar at me.
MP: We all throw things at each other. it’s our daily Routine.
Me: Jordan too?
MP: No, He thinks his keyboard is too expensive to be thrown. so he beats up the Vocalist instead.
Me; No wonder, you guys have changed so may of them.
Me: have you listened to any indian Band?
MP: Ohhh, You Indians have Rock Bands too? I am a big fan of Himesh Reshammiya.
Me: I have to tell you, As a Progressive Drummer, your choices in Music are strange.
MP :Yeah. I always get inspired from different Genres of Music.
Me: You have many fans of yours in india too. Any Plans to visit India in the near future?
MP : You didn’t answer my previous question. Indians have Rock Bands too?
Me: yeah, Half of them are Metallica wanna be’s, But never mind. there are some great bands too.
MP :Great, i listened to a lot of Altaf Raja during Octavarium you know.
Me: Are you really the Mike Portnoy of Dream theatre we know?
MP : Yeah why?
Me : Nothing, You are sounding like Joe satriani playing only Three Power Chords for a whole song.
Me: So what do you want to say to all the Dream theatre fans?
MP : Stop Listening to that Bull Shit. DT ain’t music without me. John Petrucci you bag of Shit, You think you are a Great Guitarist, But all you do is pick random notes which sound all the same in every song. The Band is nothing w/o me. I RULE!!
me: okay, that was kinda harsh, don’t you think?
MP : Baby, baby, Ohhhhooo..baby, baby Ohhoo (Starts singing Justin Bieber again)
me: Throws a nearby object at him (He Dies) 😛