Finally i gave my last Engg paper…Finally,i had this shit out of me..Finally I’m almost an ‘Engineer’..Fucking Finally..
Finished a 4 hours paper..whoossshh!!Mechanical guys are the only guys who can write for 4 hours on something they don’t know a Shit about..And so coming home,i was thinking (for a change)..What if a Music Institute existed with the set up like an Engineering college,,With all the Viva’s,Departments,H.O.D’s and stuff…Well the faculty won’t suck like it does for Mumbai University..Maybe you would have a Special Entrance exam for it too based on the theory of the music called CMT (Common Music Test)..So what if i Get through?
There would be Departments based on the genre of Music..Jazz,Pop,Hip Hop,Trance,Rock,Metal..so many of them..
And so i would choose Rock and Metal as my departments of specialization…As in the first year of engineering you had all this Bhel Puri of subjects from different fields,same will be applicable here..Maybe i would get a KT in Hip Hop,i really don’t understand that music..
When the Viva season begins,faadu faculty will come to rape us..So Imagine John Petrucci coming in as an external ( I can’t get enough of Dream Theatre,can I?? 😛 )..
JP : Hey Noob..
Me : Hello sir..
JP: So, what have u done?
Me : ahmmm..sir boulevard of broken dreams..:P
JP : which is that song?
Me : Sir Its a Green Day song…You haven’t heard it??
JP : Do they play off time??
Me : Not in a million years sir..They take 3 chords and 3 notes on d bass and make a song..(No offence to Greenday..They are one of my favourites..)
JP: Only 3 chords??How can anyone make 3 chord songs??I use minimum 20 chords,and if John Myung plays less than 100 notes per second i will fire him..
Me : Sir,but even they sound good..
JP: Don’t argue with me Noob..Back to the exam..Can You play ‘Pull me under’ solo??
Me : No sir
JP : Can you play ‘Panic attack’ solo?
Me : (Blank again)..No sir
Me : (Blank again)..No sir
JP : Allright ,i will ask you my easiest solo..Can you play ‘Home’ solo??
Me : Sir,can’t you ask for any other Guitar skills except your solos??
JP : Haven’t u seen my Rock Disipline videos?
Me : yes sir..Im a big fan of your tutorials..How do you practice to be so fast?
JP : Then why don’t you practice my solos??
Me : Sir ,i was trying Michael Angelo’s solos too..
JP : That two handed tapping guy??He is such a Noob..he can’t play at 300 BPM..He doesn’t use Tungsten strings like i use..I play so fast that normal strings can’t stand the 3000 degree temperature…I use a Diamond pic so that they don’t break by my shredding force..I have a Processor meant for blowing some heads off with my speed of light solos…
Me : yes sir you are the greatest..The Best..(yea right!!)
JP : Great Kid..You can go…I will pass you
It would be real fun,if such a thing happened..3-4 hours Theory lectures and practicals..then Jam sessions..A mentor for every musician..And not some Kolhapur-Satara ‘Teachers’,but someone who really knows their ‘thing’..Its high time India had a Music School..