Ever wondered what makes a ‘Perfect’ Band??The Question may seem Hypothetical to many.Coz Perrfect Bands really don’t exist. What exist is some species of rare kinds. The Guitarists,Bassists,Drummers are special in their own unique way,(Not in their music sense).But what they behave like.
Imagine a 4 piece band playing a gig, The first thing they do when coming up on stage, well certainly isn’t Soundcheck. The Front man walking around the whole stage pretends is seeing the PA level and in the course will locate the chicks in the crowd,wave to them.use slangs after slangs to look cool. will say ‘fuck’ a million times will brag about his looks and hairstyle. The Guitarist comes deciding that atleast today he ll overshadow the vocalist and get the Ladies. He tries to show off his Guitar Skills in the Soundcheck with as many riffs he can put in that time to get the maximum scream out of the crowd.( The “we love you’s” and “wooooooooooooooooooooooo’s”..sometimes even a bra if he is lucky 😛 ).. The Drummer is the most frustrated of the lot, thinking about not to fuck up on his rhythms and why those two in the front always get away with the prize while ” I’m The Fucking Drummer of the band. Gimme some respect” shit.
The bassie,well…he is the bassie..That describes it !!…Lost in his own little world. NO body looks at him and Nobody bothers he is in the band. ( The Characters in this story are purely fictitous,resemblance to any band or person is merely a co incidence. [:P] )
Front-man: “WOahhh FUCKING CHRIST!!!, so many babes, i can have them all”
Guitarist : ” Fucking holy Shit!! that black girl is a Hottie, I can have her after that fucking vocalist finishes with her”
Drummer : “All they care about is booze and sex. They forget they are here to play Music. I’m the Real Game here”
Bassist: “What was the first note i have to play?? A or G ??” [:P]
Allright ,that’s just a joke.Bassists don’t feel bad. Drummers would be hollowed without your presence.
Any ways for those of you who don’t know what a Bassist is, Here is the answer !!!!
‘ A Guy who is the most silent of them all,always stands at the back probably hiding his face.Never reacts to any of the Front-man’s jokes or crowd for that matter and stands like a dead rubber on stage. [:P]..’
(Man, My bassist is gonna kill me after reading this 😛 )
Well,if you are wondering what genre the band is playing,there are certain ways to determine that.For Instance:
What is Punk Rock??
Ans: If the band is playing in such a hurry that they just wanna run away as quickly as possible off stage,with the vocalist speaking at a rate of 1000 words per minute and muting the chords.. Well that’s Punk Rock for you..[:P]
What is Metallica..OOPS!!!Sorry, Metal??
Ans: A Band playing ‘For whom the bell tolls’ or ‘Enter sandman’ or some crazy shit like that,they are what we call ‘ Metallica wannabe’s’.. yeah and they will call themselves a ‘Metal’ band.For them Metal is ‘Metallica’..
When you hear such a thing and you feel like running away for your life or you would rather be dead then listening to this, that’s ‘Heavy Metal’ for you. They will play the same shit as ‘Metallica’ wannabe’s but with an increased level of distortion to make as much noise as possible so that the crowd goes deaf. [:P] Yeah BRUTAL!!!!!!
SO what is Progressive???
When you really don’t remember when the band really started the song or wait a minute “Is the song finished??..oh noo,they are still playing something” after you wake up after catching a nap in between the 20 minute songs, they call it “Progressive”.According to me they just suffer from a short term memory loss,often forgetting what their song was all about and where it started. Each one plays as if this is his last day on earth putting as many solos as he can in one song in the slot each instrumentalist is given. The vocalist will come in between the breaks to fill in as a 12th man..[:P]
So everyone contributes to make a Band ‘perfect’ in their own unique way.Anyways ‘Rock’ wouldn’t be Rock if not for weirdo’s like this. (Remember Dave Mustaine went to rehab 18 times for his Drug abuse!!!)Woosssh!!!18 times looks like his second home..Such rockstars make Rock and Roll interesting and worth following.Being on the other side of the Door ain’t much fun.Without them Rock would suffer a void.